If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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