My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
