I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
