btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
