Plan B is the new Plan A
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
