I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize