anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
