how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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