is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Randomize
