I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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