My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
