Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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