I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
