Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
i want to swaddle you in tequila
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
