If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
