Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
