i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
