is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize