We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
