Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize