Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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