the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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