I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
