I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
