I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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