Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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