She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Randomize
