Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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