in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
