Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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