the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
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