I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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