I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
