Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
