who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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