dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Of course I have a pirate flag
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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