i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
