there's paper in my vomit.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
