i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
