if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
