Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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