I think im going to throw up on grandma
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
