And to think..we used to do everything sober...
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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