you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I think I sprained my soul last night
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
