he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
