It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
