He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
