why didn't you poke me back
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
