I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
