Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize