"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
where are my pants?
in the oven.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
