This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
