im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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