We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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