I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
