So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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