I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
