apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
