Kiss
Puke
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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