i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
