We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
