grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I am one with the molecules
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
