OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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