i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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