remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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