cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize