White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
